Finding God in the Pit of Depression

Depression isn’t something easily fixed; not by medication, not by counseling, not even by time. It ebbs and flows, and in the moments of relief, I convince myself I’ve finally overcome it. But then, without warning, it creeps back in, wrapping its familiar darkness around me before I even realize I’ve slipped.

This time, it took three weeks for my mind to catch up to what my body already knew. It started small; skipping a toothbrush here, neglecting my hair there, until even the thought of a shower felt exhausting. Food, once comforting, turned to nausea at its mere sight. The things that brought me purpose, like creating content for Unshaken Faith Collective, fell away.

Depression is like a bike with no brakes, hurtling downhill until you crash at the bottom. And there, in that pit, it’s lonely. Heavy. Shame-filled. The longer you stay, the more impossible escape seems. The climb out feels too steep, too exhausting, and sometimes, you can’t even see where to begin.

This time was bad. Not the worst I’ve faced, but bad enough that I spent a week weeping for myself, for the little girl I once was, for all the innocent hearts who’ve known this same pain. And in my lowest moment, I begged God to take me home. The weight felt unbearable, and death whispered as the only relief.

But then—a whisper back.

Faint but undeniable, the Holy Spirit nudged me: "Seek Me." I didn’t know where to start, but God met me in my desperation. A quick search led me to the stories of Job, Elijah, Jeremiah, Jonah, Moses—men who, in their anguish, begged God to end their lives. I had read their stories before, but this time, I saw myself in them. They knew the pit. They knew the despair.

And yet—God never shamed them.

Instead, He met them with compassion, comfort, and purpose.

• Moses, overwhelmed, was given help to carry the burden.

• Elijah, exhausted, was given rest and food.

• Jonah, exposed and despairing, was given shelter.

• Jeremiah, heartbroken over a wayward generation, was reminded of his mission.

• Job, in his suffering, was met with the majesty of God’s sovereignty.

  
  

God didn’t dismiss their pain. He allowed them to grieve, to rage, to weep and then He provided exactly what they needed to take the next step.

This week, I’m beginning the climb. Slowly. Cautiously. Some days, all I can manage is a nap, a meal, or a whispered prayer. But I’m not climbing alone. The same God who sustained Elijah in the wilderness, who carried Moses through his overwhelm, who met Jonah in his anger; He is with me too.

If you’re in the pit today, know this: You are seen. You are heard. God does not belittle your pain. He meets you in it. And when the climb feels impossible, He will provide just enough strength for the next step.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" (Matthew 6:26)

You are held. Even here. Especially here.