Loving Yourself as Jesus Loves You: Overcoming Shame and False Guilt (Part 2)

Accepting God's unconditional love for me is just the beginning of learning to love myself. I start to question why does God love me when I still feel a knot of insecurity when I look in the mirror, haunted by my sins and stumbles.  1 Peter 2:9 reminds me, "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light." God offers His grace and love to me freely because of the high regards God has for me. The truth of God's grace is, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast," Ephesians 2:8-9. Biblical grace is God's unmerited, undeserved kindness and favor towards humanity, freely given because of His love. My deeds, good or bad, do not determine my salvation or God's love for me.

The truth of God's grace is hard to comprehend with my human mind. God knew these feelings of shame would linger. Proverbs 24:16, which states "For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again," God's grace offers forgiveness, renewal, and the strength to repent, learn, and get back up after every failure or hardship. This verse shows that God's love and mercy are constant, even though I am imperfect. God's grace demonstrates His enduring love for humanity, providing forgiveness and redemption even after repeated falls into sin or failure. 

The feelings of shame I have over my sin isn't a bad thing, but is described as Godly sorrow in 2 Corinthians 7:9-10 and leads to repentance, "Godly sorrow brings repentance. That leads to salvation and leaves no regret but worldly sorrow brings death." The Apostle Paul experienced Godly sorrow through acknowledging his weakness against sin in Romans 7. The Godly grief Paul felt led to a true desire for change and repentance.

Paul struggled with his sin and shame but he reminds himself and the people of Phillipi to press on toward the goal of Christian service and eternal life. In Philippians 3:13-14, Paul says to forget what is behind, but doesn't mean ignoring or denying past sins but rather choosing not to let them hold him back from his mission in Christ. What is my feelings of shame about my sinful nature producing? Repentance or a hopeless spiral of despair?

When feelings of guilt and shame arise after seeking and receiving God's forgiveness, it is considered "false guilt" because Romans 8:1-3 states there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. Instead of accepting these feelings, as a believer I am encouraged to reject them by remembering my new identity in Christ, focusing on God's grace, and trusting that my sins are truly forgiven and removed. This requires actively fighting the "accuser of the brethren" by recalling biblical truths, such as God's unconditional love and the freedom found through Christ's sacrifice. 

There is another form of "false guilt," that I am all to familiar with, and that is taking on the guilt of others' actions. The story of Tamar in 2 Samuel 13 illustrates a victim experiencing shame and distress following abuse, though the blame is placed on her abuser, Amnon. The biblical account of Tamar, raped by her half-brother Amnon, describes her devastated state and sorrow, not fault. The subsequent passages focus on Amnon's destructive behavior and allude to Tamar's future redemption, placing the responsibility on him and offering hope for her.  True guilt is a warning from God, while false guilt is a burden for actions or beliefs that are not sinful.

So now I stand at a new crossroads. I am beginning to accept who God says I am, His masterpiece (Part 1). I am learning to reject the accuser's lies and the spiral of worldly sorrow by clinging to the liberating truth of God's grace (Part 2). But a whisper remains: 'Knowing this is one thing, but how can I possibly live this out? I feel so inadequate to actually love myself the way Jesus does." The feeling of inadequacy, the gap between knowing the truth in my head and feeling it in heart and exploring how God's strength is made perfect in my weakness is the next steps to practically receive and reflect God's perfect love for myself.